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We all have a different view of what "bad" really is. But anything to do with crime, violence, and substance use qualify. And of course, street gang affiliation is a different situation. (see gangs). So, what if someone dresses in a way you don't approve of, or has bad grades, or uses profanity? How bad is bad before they are a bad influence? This is for you to decide. But in all cases, the response is the same. First, telling your kid that they can't hang out with someone will just make them want to even more, plus they'll find away anyway. Most of the time friendships aren't logically chosen, they just happen naturally. Although friendships are usually based on commonalities, sometimes opposites attract. The best protection against a bad influence - is to not be easily influenced. This comes from having self-respect. This comes from wanting good things for yourself. This mindset has to come first. • Tell your kid that although we can't choose who we naturally like, but we should ask ourselves: Is our circle going help us get the good things that we want...or block them. • Teach them all about peer pressure. (See: Peer Pressure) • Make sure better alternatives are available. Put them in organizations, groups, clubs, and activities with constructive practices. Sports, dance, art...etc. Summary Telling them they can't hang out with someone will wind up making them want to even more, and they will just do it behind your back. We can't choose who we naturally like and friendships form by themselves. The best thing to do is to build your child's self-respect. Teach them to want only the best things for themselves. A person with this mindset will be well protected from bad influences, and even more.

boys fight too, but girls do more even more competitive evolutionary reasons boys band together to hunt and war girls compete to be the most desirable from the pool hormones more emotional forced together in school nesting

Spare the rod, Spoil the child! This saying means that if you're too easy on your kids they will get spoiled. (The rod means something you hit them with.) OK, even if you don't beat your kid with a rod, the concept of punishment is important. By definition, Punishment means to impose something unwanted as a consequence for an action. Spanking is a thing of the past. Now we take away privileges, or give a time out. There are all sorts of technical terms - positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishishment, negative punishment, and so on. Don't worry about all of the psychobabble. It all comes down to these four choices. 1. Giving them something that they want. - If you do your homework, you get a sticker. 2. Taking away something that they want. - If you don't do your homework, you lose your phone. 3. Giving something they don't want. - If you hit your sister, you get a time out. 4. Taking away something they don't want. - If you do your homework, you don't have to do the dishes. As it turns out, number 1 just works the best. It's just a bonus that it happens to be the nicest. Number 3 works the second best, Number 2 works the third best, and number 4 works the least. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. If you are too harsh, you create an obstacle to attachment. If you are too lax, then you create an obstacle to growth and learning. If you reward bad behavior, even by accident, you are increasing that behavior. (See: Too mean Too nice.) "But isn't giving a kid a sticker for doing his homework bribery?" Great question. Technically no. (See: "Bribery") Summary Whether you give your kid a spider man sticker a new car, a hug, or just verbal praise, getting a reward for positive behavior is the most effective motivator. But there still is a need for punishment. Try not to make the consequence too far in future. I've never seen a kid behave himself in the morning to avoid losing recess at the end of the day. When you do threaten a punishment, make sure you follow through, or they won't take you seriously the next time.