We are born with our gender identity - There I said it! You can not make someone gay or straight. You can raise me in dresses and give me barbie dolls...but I'm still going to be attracted to Pamela Anderson when I see her on baywatch reruns. It's in the genes.
Some parents feel disappointment when they find out, but you MUST let a person be who they naturally are, no matter what it is, if they are going to be happy. All kids need to be loved and accepted for who they are. I'm not trying to be nice...it's just a basic fact of child development
Kids need to feel safe to "come out."
Tell them early on that it doesn't matter which gender they feel more natural with...both are fine, and it means nothing to you either way. Letting your kids feel safe to be gay...will not make them gay.
One consequence is the way some other people will perceive and treat them.
Luckily, homosexuiality is becoming more and more accepted, excluding some more radical countries. Any normal person will judge you for who you are as a person, and not be interested about your personal dating and mating habits...But not everyone is normal. There still is a primal drive to reject those who are seen as different in any way. Dealing with these people may be a challenge that they will face.
As a parent, it is understandable if you feel disappointment. You may be upset that your child will not pass on your bloodline. You may feel that you did something wrong. You may be worried about your child facing ostracization and homophobia. But this initial shock will wear off. Be careful drawing conclusions and making decisions during this sensitive time.
Summary
Children who are Gay may experience homophobia or feelings of being "defective", and they may feel guilt or of disappointing their parents, or embarrassment. However, many times the biggest obstacle comes from parents. When parents struggle with acceptance, understand that this is how they were born. It's no one's fault, and there is no changing it. Be sensitive to the reasons for you response. Appreciate that in America, we are living in a time where it's not the biggest deal. But in the end, put the child's needs first before your own. All kids need to be loved and accepted for who they are if they are going to be happy.